What is IFS?

What would it be like if you stopped hiding or hating the parts of your self that cause you distress? (The ones that cause relationship rupture? Or the ones that make you feel stuck even when you’re moving toward what you know you want? Or the ones that have you caught in a cycle of addiction or feeling out of control?) What if the very act of listening to those unwanted parts with curiosity and openness enabled you to care for those parts rather than engaging in a constant battle with them? What if kindness turned toward those parts actually caused them to shift out of old, rigid habits and patterns? What if real and clear choice could become your new normal?  

I believe that this is possible. In fact, I’ve experienced this shift within myself. I’ve witnessed clients and colleagues experience it, as well. I firmly believe that each of us has the inner creativity and resources to generate and experience actual change within ourselves. Most of us just don’t know it or haven’t been given the tools yet.

The way I see it, IFS (Internal Family Systems) is an applied practice of understanding the internal system by learning to listen to what is actually, rather than perceptually, happening within us. It turns what we think we should feel toward difficult parts of ourselves on its head. 

On the deepest level, IFS is a process which allows us to release beliefs about ourselves and others that are based in fear, pain or trauma. Consequently, our brains can experience a re-wiring that enables compassion, creativity and calm self-leadership. It is deep and effective work that often results in rapid or sudden shifts and breakthroughs. It is transformative and freeing.

IFS is not "family therapy" in the traditional sense of the term. Internal Family Systems refers to the various parts of yourself or identity (the "inner family") and how it is organized. It is a comprehensive approach that works with individuals, couples, and families. IFS is an evidence-based therapy that has evolved over the past twenty years. You can learn more about the details of the model here: www.selfleadership.org

If this sounds exciting (or even a little daunting) to you, then I encourage you to come check it out! The process is collaborative. The work follows your individual needs, and the result is a safe, natural unfolding and opening toward wholeness. 

Here are some “breakthrough” areas that I can help you with:

• Leave the fog of confusion to experience clarity and choice
• Work with parts of yourself that are in conflict to bring equilibrium and leadership to your internal system
• Listen to parts of yourself that have been long ignored or rejected so that they no longer feel desperate (needy) or suppressed (resentful)
• Reduce overwhelm to open up space for presence and learning
• Listen and bring relief to physical problems, such as chronic pain
• Bring leadership and awareness to parts that tend toward rage or self-righteousness
• Cultivate a living and thriving “spiritual” practice